Collective grief after tragedy

Is it weird to grieve for strangers? Short answer: nope.

There was a public outpouring of grief after four members of the same family drowned at Shoreham-by-Sea close to my home last week. The tragedy shook us up and several community groups met to collectively honour those who lost their lives and comfort each other.

I had the privilege of introducing a specially arranged reflective breathwork session on the beach for a group of likeminded people who regularly turn up at 8am on a Saturday morning to attend a free class offered by instructor Matt Bagwell.

This time, there was none of the usual lively chatter and laughter as we gathered facing the sea. Our thoughts were of the trauma and loss experienced just a few days earlier.

So why do we care about the deaths of those people we didn’t know?

It was an undoubted tragedy. A young family out to enjoy themselves at the seaside but whose lives were cut far too short.

They shared our breath, our capacity to love and an enjoyment of the beach. 

You may have experienced emotions similar to my own:

• Alarm on hearing the extraordinary number of sirens

• Dread as helicopters whirred over head

• Fear on hearing four people were missing in the sea

• Relief upon confirming the safety of my nearest and dearest

• Guilt at that relief knowing it meant someone else’s sorrow

• Sadness for the lives lost and for those who will mourn them

• Gratitude for the emergency workers who laboured to save them

All these feelings and others are valid. 

For the depth of human compassion for strangers is a wonderful thing.

Rosie under a rainbow at Shoreham Beach on a happier occasion